Sex and Spirituality

With the Sexual Revolution, a la "Playboy", now behind us, as well as the Victorian attitudes which it rejected, perhaps we are ready for a new conception of sexuality, one not dividing, but embracing, both body and spirit.

With few exceptions, such as the Tantric tradition, for centuries both Eastern and Western religious leaders have warned of the dangers of the flesh, and exhorted abstinence and restraint in the furtherance of spiritual ideals.

Do You Love Your Mistress?

I often hear from wives who ask me how husbands really feel about their mistresses. I often hear things like: "It's bad enough that he cheated on me and had a physical relationship with someone else. But, the emotional cheating is the hardest to take. Because I don't think I could bear it if he was in love with her."

Myths About the Penis Enlargement

A fair few male anxieties stem from just a handful of common myths about the penis - mainly relating to penis size and the importance of that attribute to the opposite sex. Below, I've dealt with 8 of the most common myths surrounding the penis, as well as the subject of penis enlargement - all as impartially as possible.

1. The average penis measures how much - 8 inches!?

A certain Doctor Krause concluded in the late Nineteenth century that the average erect penis measured approximately 8 1/4 inches in length; and as a consequence men have been trying to desperately enlarge theirs ever since. It's a myth purveyed by many a penis enlargement site who swear blind that less than 7 inches should make you the star exhibit at the local freak show.

In reality, properly conducted medical studies show that the average erect penis measures somewhere between five and six inches in length and around five inches in girth. Well over half the male population fall into this range. If you draw a graph of penis sizes based on one of these scientific studies they draw an almost perfect bell curve - with only about 20 percent of men being smaller than 5 inches and another 20 percent being over 6.5 inches.

How do you measure? Place a ruler along the top of your erect penis, pressing lightly into the pubic skin at the base. You'll get the most accurate reading if you hold your penis horizontal with the floor.

2. Women like 'em bigger

Not according to a recent study conducted by the University of California. Out of 50,000 respondents to a 'body image' questionnaire, researchers found that the majority of women - a massive 85 percent - were 'very satisfied' with the size of their partners penis.

It is true that there are fair few size queens out there - one Internet based study found that 9 percent of women considered the ideal penis to measure between 7 - 8 inches, whilst another 2 percent said weren't happy unless their partner's penis was large enough to knock kittens out of trees - quoting 10 - 12 inches as the ideal size. But there seems to be method to the madness - about the same percentage of men are blessed with oversized appendages to satisfy this 10 percent of women - nature is indeed a wonderful thing.

So if you're between 5 - 6 inches in length, around 90 percent of women won't consider you genitally challenged.

3. If you've got a small penis you're less of a man

Don't tell that to the Silverback Gorilla who stands 1.7 metres tall and weighs around 180 kg - he's got a tiny erect penis of around 4 cm (1.5 inches) in length. Calling him maggot dick is undoubtedly a bad idea - like the Hulk, you probably wouldn't like him when he's angry and he'd make short work of even the most masculine or men.

Different (human) cultures do of course attach varying degrees of important to the size of the male genitalia. The ancient Greeks liked them small for example, whilst certain African cultures consider anything less than a grandfather clock pendulum to be inadequate. But needless to say, penis size is not a genetic marker of your level of masculinity.

4. A bigger penis makes you a better lover

Penis length is the least important thing when it comes to giving pleasure during vaginal sex. Even when sexually aroused, the average vagina only elongates to about 4 inches - so that's all your technically need. What's more, the majority of the pleasure sensing nerves are found within the first few inches of the vagina - so in fact a thicker penis is far more important than length when it comes to stimulating the fairer sex.

5. Size doesn't matter

This may not be a myth but more a matter of opinion. As I pointed out above, having an average sized penis is something most women seem to be pretty content with.

But if you penis size causes you to suffer any degree of concern or anxiety, then of course it does matter.

If your anxieties are based on misconceptions about what's average or what women are looking for, hopefully some of the points above will put your mind at ease. But there's no doubt that it's not always about women and sex - men by their nature attribute a great deal of their self belief, confidence and worth to the size of their dicks as well. So maybe size does matter - just more to us blokes than it does to women.

From a medical perspective, a micro-penis is defined as an adult penis measuring less than 4cm flaccid and 7 cm erect - this is the point at which the doctor would agree that size matters.

6. Penis enlargement surgery is the easiest way to increase penis size.

Sorry...not only does surgery tend to produce limited gains, but achieving those gains requires a great deal of patient motivation post-operatively. A gain of an inch in flaccid penis length is generally considered a success, whilst erect gains tend to be even less.

What's more, those gains don't just appear overnight - they're gradually achieved through the use of a penile traction device. Generally, penile traction needs to be applied for 8 hours per day, everyday until the healing process is complete. One well known surgeon who specialises in penis enlargement surgery once summed up the importance of sticking to the minimum 8 hours a day traction routine when he said "if a patient told me that they used traction for 7 hours a day, I'd say that they've just wasted 7 hours".

7. Penis pills and patches work

Erm...sorry again if you were under any illusions - penis pills won't provide any form of permanent penile enlargement. The better quality supplements may well promote a temporary size increase due to their penile blood boosting effects, but these effects are dependent on continued use. They can have their benefits, but being a stand alone method of permanent and effective penis enlargement isn't one of them.

8. The penis can't be enlarged through non-surgical means

Last but certainly not least, the old 'Can you, can't you?' debate about the feasibility of alternative penis enlargement techniques. The medical community until quite recently has categorically dismissed the effectiveness of any form of non-surgical method. However, this resolute position is steadily losing its ground with the release of some interesting medical research. An Italian study published in the British Journal of Urology in 2008 for example recorded average penis length increases of 0.9 inches in patients who'd undergone six months treatment with a penile extender device.

Best Ways to Keep Your Marriage Alive

Reignite the passion in your marriage! Here's how to harness the power of "click" to feel closer to your guy.

You know the feeling: You're introduced to someone new and — boom! — you're instant pals, or you meet a man and — sigh — it's love at first sight. That mysterious experience we call "hitting it off" is what psychologist Rom Brafman and his brother, Ori, explore in their new book, The Magic of Instant Connections.

The Brafmans' research uncovers the "accelerators," such as complementary body language and letting down your guard, that lead to instant bonds and also strengthen long-term relationships. "These accelerators generate 'click' because they boost intimacy," Ori says. "Whether you're trying to connect with someone new or reignite the flames in a marriage, more intimacy is what you're aiming for, and the strategies to achieve it are the same."

Here, he explains three easy ways to harness the power of "click" to feel closer to your guy:

Give a quick kiss. "Studies bear out the importance of casual touch, how it makes us feel safer and more empathetic," Brafman says. "So scootch in a little closer to your husband, and make a point of touching him casually, on the elbow or hip, throughout the day."

Look for likenesses. "We naturally seek out similarities as a way to feel close to others, and the happiest couples are on a constant quest to uncover ways in which they're alike," Brafman says. "Sharing things in common with your partner — anything from a mutual love of slapstick comedy to a joint passion for pizza — makes you feel like you're part of the same unit, that you're both in your own little 'in group.'"

Get in sync. "Meeting your partner where he is, on both the body and mind levels, leads to increased intimacy," Brafman says. "Paying attention to what he's saying is important, but you can also demonstrate your understanding by mirroring his gestures, like crossing your legs when he does. He'll subconsciously understand that you're present with him and then naturally reciprocate for you." Still, no need to go too far: If you catch your guy scratching his chest, well, that can be his thing.

Flirting, an Interesting Love Thing

How often have we secretly envied that office colleague who easily gets what she wants and when she wants it form her male counterparts?

Admit it! We actually go green with envy when we hear or see female colleagues chatting away nonchalantly with managers, team leaders and co workers who don’t even give us a second glance.

You may be attractive and smart. You may be friendly and caring. However, if you want to be visible to your male counterparts, it doesn’t hurt to flirt with them a bit. So if you find a really cute guy in office you desperately want to get close to, follow these simple cues to have him notice you seriously.

Make Eye Contact: Ok this doesn’t mean you have to go all gooey eyed and keep ogling him at all times. Look at him for a brisk moment and then look away. Keep giving him flirtatious looks until he realises that it is him you are interested in and walks over to say hi.

It pays to give him a complete look from top to bottom before giving a nod of approval and a sweet smile in his direction. And once he walks over to you, show your interest in making conversation rather than turning away or pretending to not hear him.

Sweet Whispers: Sometime a small whisper in his direction can bring him running to you rather than a loud shout that would probably make everyone on the floor aware of your intentions.

Again, if you are approached by someone you don’t fancy, show your dislike in a polite manner rather than making a scene. This attitude can project you as a cool and composed person to the guy you want to impress.

Buddies: At a party or gathering, you can possibly ask your friend to watch your back and move through a group of men. This way you can find out if your guy or someone else from the group is eyeing you. Your friend will be able to notice who is watching you and this in turn can help you choose your date for the evening.

Being Alone: Let’s say there’s this guy in office you are dying to go out with. There may be a strong chance that he has the same feelings for you but doesn't want to show them out in front of your friends. In such cases, it is best recommended to shrug off your friends for some time and create opportunities where you he can find you alone somewhere.

No sexual advances please: Flirting can have its side effects if not done properly. You need to play it straight and avoid getting sexual advances in the process. Choose your words correctly and make sure that the other person understands you are not flirting with him just for the heck of it.

It is better to wear sophisticated and somber clothes that do not reveal too much flesh but still show off your curves in the right places. This way, you will be immediately noticed by that special someone at office.

The correct approach: Finally, don’t pretend to be a person you are not in order to garner attention. At the end of the day, you will feel as if you are cheating the other person by hiding your true self for him.

Be proud of yourself and your principles, be positive in displaying the same to others and most of all, take criticism in your stride. Try to free your mind off unwanted distractions and be cheerful at all times. Your positive mindset will definitely rub off on others and you will get noticed by everyone at office, especially the person you have your eyes on.