Long-Term Relationships with Sex

Sex and intimacy are vital parts of any intimate relationship, so if you are living in a sexless union it can be frustrating and depressing.

A sexless relationship can take place in a marriage or de facto union or even in a long-term relationship between a couple.

Whatever the case might be, a sexless relationship is difficult to cope with and sometimes difficult to pin down exactly, says Asiphe Ndlela, a clinical psychologist in Illovo, Johannesburg.

Do You Like Sexy Movies ?

Women seems to be quite picky when it comes to adult movies. Scenes that are exciting or pleasant for a man, may provoke quite the opposite if the viewer belongs to the other gender.

Some researchers observed the reactions of some individuals of both genders, who watched adult movies. Three different types of movies were showed

Sex Life During Menopause

Millions of perimenopausal and menopausal women are finding pleasure and sexual satisfaction over the age of 50. Dr. Christiane Northrup, a specialist in women's gynecological health and the author of The Secret Pleasures of Menopause, believes menopause is the time of life to experience unlimited pleasure. She offers 7 secret keys that will open the door to wonderful sexuality and sensuality after menopause.

How to Make Him Your Guy

It happened slowly, over time. Relationships became less defined, and now it's often hard to know if you're actually in one. "Even if a guy acts like a boyfriend, he may not be committed," says Dr Scott Haltzman, author of The Secrets of Happily Married Women. "Online dating gives you so many choices that some guys prefer to keep their options open.

Should Homosexuals Get Married

The question of whether homosexuals should receive all the rights and benefits of marriage is an unequivocal, No. The reason for this response is The Bible does not support same sex marriage.

There are no exceptions noted to the contrary in The Bible.

Life After Sexual Abuse

There is no doubt that sexual abuse is a terrible thing to go through, at any age, any gender, by any person. It is a destructive force that will come in and wreak havoc on the very soul of the victim. The experience produces a lack of trust, self-esteem issues, identity questions, and a long road to recovery.

Sex and Spirituality

With the Sexual Revolution, a la "Playboy", now behind us, as well as the Victorian attitudes which it rejected, perhaps we are ready for a new conception of sexuality, one not dividing, but embracing, both body and spirit.

With few exceptions, such as the Tantric tradition, for centuries both Eastern and Western religious leaders have warned of the dangers of the flesh, and exhorted abstinence and restraint in the furtherance of spiritual ideals.

Do You Love Your Mistress?

I often hear from wives who ask me how husbands really feel about their mistresses. I often hear things like: "It's bad enough that he cheated on me and had a physical relationship with someone else. But, the emotional cheating is the hardest to take. Because I don't think I could bear it if he was in love with her."

Myths About the Penis Enlargement

A fair few male anxieties stem from just a handful of common myths about the penis - mainly relating to penis size and the importance of that attribute to the opposite sex. Below, I've dealt with 8 of the most common myths surrounding the penis, as well as the subject of penis enlargement - all as impartially as possible.

1. The average penis measures how much - 8 inches!?

A certain Doctor Krause concluded in the late Nineteenth century that the average erect penis measured approximately 8 1/4 inches in length; and as a consequence men have been trying to desperately enlarge theirs ever since. It's a myth purveyed by many a penis enlargement site who swear blind that less than 7 inches should make you the star exhibit at the local freak show.

In reality, properly conducted medical studies show that the average erect penis measures somewhere between five and six inches in length and around five inches in girth. Well over half the male population fall into this range. If you draw a graph of penis sizes based on one of these scientific studies they draw an almost perfect bell curve - with only about 20 percent of men being smaller than 5 inches and another 20 percent being over 6.5 inches.

How do you measure? Place a ruler along the top of your erect penis, pressing lightly into the pubic skin at the base. You'll get the most accurate reading if you hold your penis horizontal with the floor.

2. Women like 'em bigger

Not according to a recent study conducted by the University of California. Out of 50,000 respondents to a 'body image' questionnaire, researchers found that the majority of women - a massive 85 percent - were 'very satisfied' with the size of their partners penis.

It is true that there are fair few size queens out there - one Internet based study found that 9 percent of women considered the ideal penis to measure between 7 - 8 inches, whilst another 2 percent said weren't happy unless their partner's penis was large enough to knock kittens out of trees - quoting 10 - 12 inches as the ideal size. But there seems to be method to the madness - about the same percentage of men are blessed with oversized appendages to satisfy this 10 percent of women - nature is indeed a wonderful thing.

So if you're between 5 - 6 inches in length, around 90 percent of women won't consider you genitally challenged.

3. If you've got a small penis you're less of a man

Don't tell that to the Silverback Gorilla who stands 1.7 metres tall and weighs around 180 kg - he's got a tiny erect penis of around 4 cm (1.5 inches) in length. Calling him maggot dick is undoubtedly a bad idea - like the Hulk, you probably wouldn't like him when he's angry and he'd make short work of even the most masculine or men.

Different (human) cultures do of course attach varying degrees of important to the size of the male genitalia. The ancient Greeks liked them small for example, whilst certain African cultures consider anything less than a grandfather clock pendulum to be inadequate. But needless to say, penis size is not a genetic marker of your level of masculinity.

4. A bigger penis makes you a better lover

Penis length is the least important thing when it comes to giving pleasure during vaginal sex. Even when sexually aroused, the average vagina only elongates to about 4 inches - so that's all your technically need. What's more, the majority of the pleasure sensing nerves are found within the first few inches of the vagina - so in fact a thicker penis is far more important than length when it comes to stimulating the fairer sex.

5. Size doesn't matter

This may not be a myth but more a matter of opinion. As I pointed out above, having an average sized penis is something most women seem to be pretty content with.

But if you penis size causes you to suffer any degree of concern or anxiety, then of course it does matter.

If your anxieties are based on misconceptions about what's average or what women are looking for, hopefully some of the points above will put your mind at ease. But there's no doubt that it's not always about women and sex - men by their nature attribute a great deal of their self belief, confidence and worth to the size of their dicks as well. So maybe size does matter - just more to us blokes than it does to women.

From a medical perspective, a micro-penis is defined as an adult penis measuring less than 4cm flaccid and 7 cm erect - this is the point at which the doctor would agree that size matters.

6. Penis enlargement surgery is the easiest way to increase penis size.

Sorry...not only does surgery tend to produce limited gains, but achieving those gains requires a great deal of patient motivation post-operatively. A gain of an inch in flaccid penis length is generally considered a success, whilst erect gains tend to be even less.

What's more, those gains don't just appear overnight - they're gradually achieved through the use of a penile traction device. Generally, penile traction needs to be applied for 8 hours per day, everyday until the healing process is complete. One well known surgeon who specialises in penis enlargement surgery once summed up the importance of sticking to the minimum 8 hours a day traction routine when he said "if a patient told me that they used traction for 7 hours a day, I'd say that they've just wasted 7 hours".

7. Penis pills and patches work

Erm...sorry again if you were under any illusions - penis pills won't provide any form of permanent penile enlargement. The better quality supplements may well promote a temporary size increase due to their penile blood boosting effects, but these effects are dependent on continued use. They can have their benefits, but being a stand alone method of permanent and effective penis enlargement isn't one of them.

8. The penis can't be enlarged through non-surgical means

Last but certainly not least, the old 'Can you, can't you?' debate about the feasibility of alternative penis enlargement techniques. The medical community until quite recently has categorically dismissed the effectiveness of any form of non-surgical method. However, this resolute position is steadily losing its ground with the release of some interesting medical research. An Italian study published in the British Journal of Urology in 2008 for example recorded average penis length increases of 0.9 inches in patients who'd undergone six months treatment with a penile extender device.

Best Ways to Keep Your Marriage Alive

Reignite the passion in your marriage! Here's how to harness the power of "click" to feel closer to your guy.

You know the feeling: You're introduced to someone new and — boom! — you're instant pals, or you meet a man and — sigh — it's love at first sight. That mysterious experience we call "hitting it off" is what psychologist Rom Brafman and his brother, Ori, explore in their new book, The Magic of Instant Connections.

The Brafmans' research uncovers the "accelerators," such as complementary body language and letting down your guard, that lead to instant bonds and also strengthen long-term relationships. "These accelerators generate 'click' because they boost intimacy," Ori says. "Whether you're trying to connect with someone new or reignite the flames in a marriage, more intimacy is what you're aiming for, and the strategies to achieve it are the same."

Here, he explains three easy ways to harness the power of "click" to feel closer to your guy:

Give a quick kiss. "Studies bear out the importance of casual touch, how it makes us feel safer and more empathetic," Brafman says. "So scootch in a little closer to your husband, and make a point of touching him casually, on the elbow or hip, throughout the day."

Look for likenesses. "We naturally seek out similarities as a way to feel close to others, and the happiest couples are on a constant quest to uncover ways in which they're alike," Brafman says. "Sharing things in common with your partner — anything from a mutual love of slapstick comedy to a joint passion for pizza — makes you feel like you're part of the same unit, that you're both in your own little 'in group.'"

Get in sync. "Meeting your partner where he is, on both the body and mind levels, leads to increased intimacy," Brafman says. "Paying attention to what he's saying is important, but you can also demonstrate your understanding by mirroring his gestures, like crossing your legs when he does. He'll subconsciously understand that you're present with him and then naturally reciprocate for you." Still, no need to go too far: If you catch your guy scratching his chest, well, that can be his thing.

Flirting, an Interesting Love Thing

How often have we secretly envied that office colleague who easily gets what she wants and when she wants it form her male counterparts?

Admit it! We actually go green with envy when we hear or see female colleagues chatting away nonchalantly with managers, team leaders and co workers who don’t even give us a second glance.

You may be attractive and smart. You may be friendly and caring. However, if you want to be visible to your male counterparts, it doesn’t hurt to flirt with them a bit. So if you find a really cute guy in office you desperately want to get close to, follow these simple cues to have him notice you seriously.

Make Eye Contact: Ok this doesn’t mean you have to go all gooey eyed and keep ogling him at all times. Look at him for a brisk moment and then look away. Keep giving him flirtatious looks until he realises that it is him you are interested in and walks over to say hi.

It pays to give him a complete look from top to bottom before giving a nod of approval and a sweet smile in his direction. And once he walks over to you, show your interest in making conversation rather than turning away or pretending to not hear him.

Sweet Whispers: Sometime a small whisper in his direction can bring him running to you rather than a loud shout that would probably make everyone on the floor aware of your intentions.

Again, if you are approached by someone you don’t fancy, show your dislike in a polite manner rather than making a scene. This attitude can project you as a cool and composed person to the guy you want to impress.

Buddies: At a party or gathering, you can possibly ask your friend to watch your back and move through a group of men. This way you can find out if your guy or someone else from the group is eyeing you. Your friend will be able to notice who is watching you and this in turn can help you choose your date for the evening.

Being Alone: Let’s say there’s this guy in office you are dying to go out with. There may be a strong chance that he has the same feelings for you but doesn't want to show them out in front of your friends. In such cases, it is best recommended to shrug off your friends for some time and create opportunities where you he can find you alone somewhere.

No sexual advances please: Flirting can have its side effects if not done properly. You need to play it straight and avoid getting sexual advances in the process. Choose your words correctly and make sure that the other person understands you are not flirting with him just for the heck of it.

It is better to wear sophisticated and somber clothes that do not reveal too much flesh but still show off your curves in the right places. This way, you will be immediately noticed by that special someone at office.

The correct approach: Finally, don’t pretend to be a person you are not in order to garner attention. At the end of the day, you will feel as if you are cheating the other person by hiding your true self for him.

Be proud of yourself and your principles, be positive in displaying the same to others and most of all, take criticism in your stride. Try to free your mind off unwanted distractions and be cheerful at all times. Your positive mindset will definitely rub off on others and you will get noticed by everyone at office, especially the person you have your eyes on.

Love and Sex After Children

Caring for children can be both physically and emotionally draining. If they're not depriving you of sleep or privacy, children definitely deprive you of uninterrupted conversations, romantic dinners, weekends away and unhurried, unscheduled sex. Now for the positive side: Many relationship counselors believe that you can have children and a love life, too.

Dr. Ellen Kreidman, best-selling author of Is There Sex After Kids?, says "one of the best ways to show your children love is by having a loving relationship with your spouse." In fact, Dr. Ellen helps couples become better parents by becoming better partners and lovers.

Three Reasons the Flame Dies After Kids:

1. It's difficult to shift gears. Dr. Ellen says it can be tough switching from the role of parent to lover. Making that transition begins with changing how you refer to your mate. She tells couples to call each other by their pet names. Do not refer to your spouse as "mommy" or "daddy." That's a sure way to prevent your partner from feeling sexy.

2. You take each other for granted. Do you stop what you're doing and greet your spouse with a smile when he or she comes home from work, or do you continue talking on the phone while you assist your child with homework and make the family dinner? Dr. Ellen encourages couples to remember what it was like when they first fell in love and were separated for an entire day. Greet your partner in a way that makes him or her feel like the most important person in your life. Embrace, kiss and ask your mate about his or her day.

3. You're bogged down in routine. Instead of being lovers, people often become working partners. When that happens, couples often end up having routine sex. While you may need to schedule time to be alone when you have children, Dr. Ellen says you can still make your sex life more exciting. Be creative. For example, make love in a room other than your bedroom (and preferably when the kids aren't around). Surprise your mate with sexy lingerie, or call him or her at work and flirt like you did before kids entered the scene.

How to Speak with Your Partner if You Know Him Well

Efforts to really know our partner continue throughout our lifetime. People do not change, but they do mature in their tastes, preferences, attitudes and feelings. What keeps a relationship alive and interesting is our desire to know our partner completely, yet never really attaining that goal.

There is no such thing as "enough" when it comes to knowing our partner well. Our partner will continue to develop new facets to his personality as time progresses and he has new and different experiences. We can know our partner well, but never enough.

We only have to think back over the past and reflect on the changes that have occurred in our own lives. We are not quite the same now as we were in our twenties, thirties etc... We change, we grow. So does our partner. It takes constant, loving vigilance to keep the "knowing" of our partner current and pertinent.

Some things about our partner will never change. He will take his coffee a particular way, have a favorite chair, prefer to sleep on the right side of the bed. Less concrete things, however, will continually change; his thoughts about life, his attitudes toward others, his preferences about how he spends his free time.

Life experience, professional fulfillment, relationships with friends, extended family and coworkers all leave their imprint on our partner's psyche. Life is seldom stagnant and change begets change. Two individuals agree to make the life journey as partners for better or worse. We cannot predict the future so there will always be an unknown element to our relationship as we stretch and strive to meet the challenges life presents.

I have spent almost half a century getting to know my spouse, and even after all this time, he continually surprises me with new attitudes and preferences. He is basically the same person, however, over the years his tastes in music, food choices and activities have varied.

My spouse has become more sentimental and more spiritual with the passing of time. He has mellowed about many of his previously rigid beliefs. I don't think I will ever finish "knowing" him, because as long as we live, we will both continue to grow and change, as will the world in which we live.

The word "enough" suggests completion, finished, done. We never want to feel finished with getting to know our partner. We want to continue to communicate to the end of time, and in the process, continue to learn new things about each other to share, to please, to enjoy.

Communication is the main ingredient for a fulfilling relationship. Communication is also the way we continue to learn new and exciting things about our partner.

Life is lived out in phases. There is the "getting together" phase, the "creating and bringing up a family" phase, the "pursuing our interests" phase, and ultimately the retirement phase. Through it all, communication will keep us on the same page as we share our feelings about the moments and memories which make up our life together.

If we reach the point where we feel we know our partner enough, that could suggest we are taking our partner for granted. Taking for granted that we know how our partner thinks and feels can potentially cheat us of learning new and exciting things about him. We never want to stop being curious to know more about the partner we love and respect.

Getting to know our partner is a continual work in progress; an ongoing, pleasurable journey through life and we can never know "enough."

More Men Use Shower Gels

Americans last year bought more bottled body washes to bathe with than traditional bars of soap. It's the first time that's ever happened. And while women have used body washes for years, more and more men are now making the switch.

Daniel Smith is a man's man. He's 26 and doesn't mind getting dirty. He happens to be a pit crew member for NASCAR driver Tony Stewart.

Smith says on race days, he gets filthy hours before the race even begins. And after wearing a fire suit for five to six hours, he smells pretty bad when he gets home, he says.

Smith's team is sponsored by the men's grooming company Old Spice, so he gets free samples from time to time. But he says he's used body washes for about 10 years, long before Old Spice even made such a thing.

Back then, he had to use a shower gel made for women. But as soon as men's body washes started showing up in 2003, this self-admitted metrosexual switched, and he hasn't looked back.

"Dude, it's been so long since I used a bar of soap ... I don't even remember," Smith says.

'Search For Sex Appeal'

The magazine Advertising Age has reported that sales of bar soaps have fallen 40 percent since body washes were introduced.

And despite the economic downturn — bottled gels still outsold regular soap, even though they're more expensive and consist largely of water. Gels are also more profitable, so it's no surprise that companies have stopped advertising bar soaps.

"It's the same guys that are making the shower gels and body washes as are making the bar soaps," says Jim Oakley, who teaches marketing at the University of North Carolina, Charlotte. "And they want to push the body washes." So the manufacturers advertise the washes rather than the bars and make the washes look better, he says.

To get men to ditch their bars of soap for bottled gels, companies often focus on scent.

Oakley says most ads are aimed at young men because they're more impressionable and more willing to make a switch than, say, their fathers. And, Oakley says, a young man's constant search for sex appeal can't be underestimated.

Environmental Impact

But the bottles that body washes are sold in come with consequences.

"It does have an environmental impact," says John Kalkowski, the editorial director of the trade publication Packaging Digest. "People who are considering making that change from bar soap to body washes may want to consider what that impact is."

Kalkowski says the bottles can be recycled. But if they go into the trash can, those bottles create more waste than the small paper or cardboard packages bar soaps come in. And all that trash could add up to body wash's dirty little secret.

What Would Casanova Do?

Despite an unremarkable mug, no man is more renowned for his power over women than Giacomo Casanova. In fact, his name has become synonymous with seduction During his 73 years, he made love to noblewomen, actresses, dancers, chambermaids, Greek slave girls, a priest's niece, a farmer's daughter, five sisters, a transvestite, a hunchback with "an excitingly misplaced vulva", a nymphomaniac, and two unrepentant nuns -- 132 ladies in all। He was, quite simply, irresistible। And the 200-odd years that have passed since his death have only embellished his reputation.

Every man, at one time or another, wants to be a Giacomo Casanova. And we're here to tell you it's possible. The ability to entrance a woman, to get her to surrender what Casanova called her "delicious little that," depends mostly on and sincerity. That's all there is to it. Although you may object to Casanova's morals (he reveled in orgies, abhorred condoms, and once made love to his illegitimate daughter), he was not reprehensible. "Unlike the fictional Don Juan or the Marquis de Sade, Casanova wasn't a sexual predator," says Ted Emery, Ph.D., an assistant professor of Italian at Dickinson College and a noted Casanovist.

"He was very much in love with most of these women, and they with him. He frequently mentions the multiple orgasms he gave them. This is certainly flattering, but the fact that he even thought about their pleasure makes him different and admirable." To gain a better understanding of this man's genius (without reading all 12 volumes of his autobiography), we attended a Casanova dinner at Sotheby's Institute of Art in New York City. It was a lavishly detailed re-creation (right down to the period cutlery) of a rendezvous in Venice in 1753 between the 28-year-old Casanova and a beautiful nun into whose habit he wished to plunge.

It was his finest moment -- an evening that exemplified his charm, and one from which all men can learn. "It was a dinner of seduction," explains Carolin Young, a culinary historian who organized the event. "It was 2 hours of playful flirtation during which they were both waiting to devour each other. Afterward, the nun finally told him she had 'an appetite that promised to do honor to the supper.' "

So what did Casanova do that night? How did he steal the keys to the convent? Before we divulge his secrets, you should understand that Casanova was not an aristocrat. Although he enjoyed projecting that image, he was essentially a gambler and a con man who fought duels and even served time in prison. So while this evening may appear highly sophisticated, don't forget that Casanova was, at heart, a philandering rogue who placed fun and love above all else.

If you're feeling particularly adventurous, you can stage a Casanova dinner of your own. You'll find recipes and even a shopping list (look at "Related Articles" below). (You, however, are responsible for the nun.) Otherwise, just adhere to the following 10 principles the next time you're with a woman you admire. The results will be delicious.

To make a woman feel special, do something special. For his illicit dinner with the good sister, Casanova rented an elegant five-room apartment. He met her as she stepped off the gondola, and they walked arm-in-arm across a lantern-lit plaza.

When you're trying to impress a woman, never utter these words at the cusp of an evening: "So, what do you feel like doing?" A true Casanova takes charge. He has a plan. To devise a memorable one, imagine that you're proposing. What would you do to make the night so special she couldn't possibly say no?. After all, you are proposing -- only it's something far more enticing than marriage. "Women are very appreciative of any kind of effort," says Young. "Casanova certainly realized that."